Saturday, May 12, 2007
Happy Mother's Day!
On Mother's Day I always think about my own wonderful mom, and feel so thankful for her love and guidance throughout my life. Since the day I became a mom myself, I also think about how blessed I am to have my children. Being a mother has been the most challenging and rewarding thing that I have ever done. I have never before felt so tired, so joyful, so frustrated, so exhilarated, or so overwhelmed by both the weight of this responsibility and by the strength of my love for them.
I wonder why life is so unfair, why I have four beautiful children and some people have to struggle so hard for just one. I don't for one minute take any of it for granted. I often think of how things could have been different. When my oldest son was just under two, I had an ectopic pregnancy that caused me to lose one of my fallopian tubes, and almost cost me my life. What if my son had had to grow up without a mother, or if I was unable to have any more children, and we wouldn't have had Quentin and Julia? When I look at the long wait that China adoptive families are now facing, I realize that if we had not started the adoption process when we did, we would not have our Rachel. We wouldn't have wanted to stand in the way of families seeking their first child when we already had three. It is frightening to think that we could have missed the chance to have this precious child in our lives.
This will be my second Mother's Day since I have been touched by the miracle of adoption. I feel like since Rachel became my daughter, I understand more completely what it means to be a mother. I understand how it is about so much more than pregnancy, childbirth, or shared genes. Those things have nothing to do with love - the fierce, consuming, unconditional love that only a parent can know. That love is exactly the same for all of my children, no matter how they came to me. Adoption has been one of the most profound and joyful experiences of my life, and I can't help but feel a little bit sorry for those who haven't had the same privilege.
I want to wish a happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there, especially those who don't have their babies in their arms yet. I have learned that the aching and yearning for your baby is part of being a mother. It's a painful part that you know far too well, but I promise it will quickly fade once you finally see your little one's face. Then you will be swept into this glorious adventure called motherhood, and life will never be the same again.